Hi Jack, great article and astute observations. I suppose that the corollary of status is that it is only meaningful when outsiders can appreciate it. In other words, external validation. In my view, chasing status is a red herring or fool's errand. When we rely on external validation for our own happiness, it is fickle and transient. What we really want when we chase status is that we think that status will help us achieve those things that will make us happy! But we are misguided; happiness comes from inner peace and contentment, often these are the very things that we sacrifice to achieve that status.
Love thinking about this topic. Years ago, spouse was involved in a research project about younger generations being more motivated by their perception of the status associated with the title as opposed to raises. For the longest time, I thought, “how stupid. Call me the associate toilet scrubber if you give me a raise.” The more I thought about it, and some of the new patterns associating with careers (changing place of work more often, likelihood of receiving a larger pay bump when you move companies, etc etc) I wondered if the younger generations are actually playing the long game. Does forgoing the raise in lieu of a perceived high status title increase likelihood of higher pay when you make your next career jump? Anyways, I view this whole thing as a necessary evil to career progression and find myself judging the concept often. As I get older, I try to release the judgment associated with this part of “the game,” and made a decision that the only way to win the game is not to play. We’ll see if that is the right choice in the long term, but for now I am satisfied. Winning isn’t fun when it all feels fake and purposeless. Nothing new under the sun!
“the only way to win the game is not to play”. Bang on, truest words spoken.
I liked the article a lot but couldn’t help but feel disgusted by it, harsh reminder of how the world revolves out there.
Here’s an example I can think of how to win while not playing:
- Instead of chasing status enrolling on “a prestigious (but not so useful) college degree” because “I want to change the world” or “I deserve the college experience!” someone could save those hundreds thousand dollars and go into a trade, accounting, etc
- Instead of buying the McSUV parked on the driveway (instead of the garage) for all to see, buy a used well kept car at a fraction. No loans, cheap insurance.
- Same for McMansions and whatnot.
What I mean to say is that the status games is not only on job titles but basically on everything.
The college avoider example above basically can start working 5 years ahead his/her peers and save on tuition… if that person strikes a deal with their parents, that’s a massive head start chunk of change compared to the debt ridden 5 years late ones.
Since many decades now parents send their kids to daycares for strangers to raise.
Why? because mom and dad got to work. And they got to work? Because they got to pay for expensive things… and why do they love the expensive things more than their kids? Because the expensive things give them status.
I write all that in inflammatory tone, but it’s because it bothers me and helps me remember that if I fall on that path I would hate myself.
Hi Jack! Interesting take on how to navigate "status games" :) I found it refreshing given how often we talk about this as a dichotomy: either you're sucked into the status monster's game or you opt out entire and stop caring. I think there's a lot to the idea that the status game doesn't have to be draining if you seek status that aligns with your intrinsic interests and aptitudes, but I also wonder whether something being designated "high status" can reduce the satisfaction we get from it.
For example, if your writing generates more interest from strangers when it comes with associated status markers (i.e. a book deal), is it then harder to identify whether the quality of your writing is actually good, or just appears good because other people have said it is? Basically, is it more difficult to judge or enjoy something you create when you're factoring in other people's perceptions?
This is just a hypothetical, not a dig at your writing skills :)
An example: someone with high status will say anything barely funny or downright cringe but the people around will still laugh, sometimes forcibly so maybe out of fear, and give it a pass.
There’s the case that it might be only temporarily until it gets in the nerves of people, but the standards were definitely lowered.
Writing to another commenter, realized that the status games is on everything… not just job titles.
Many will choose to drown in expensive car leases with the accompanying premium insurance, McMansions, expensive clothes and whatnot just to “look higher status”.
And it’s the exact same price to pay: “I will sacrifice my current financial situation and even forego any chance of reasonable retirement probability for the sake of having a seemingly looking better status today”
With both status and money, you need to know your "enough". There will always be someone with more money (unless you're Musk) or someone with more status in your domain (unless you're Lebron or MJ) so you need to determine for yourself when the extra effort isn't worth the sqeeze. For me, the effort for more status wasn't worth it after I hit "top MBA program graduate" and "Senior Associate at a major management consulting firm". For money, my target is $5M in investable assets plus a paid off house. Some crave more and some are a happy with less and would rather have more free time or pursue their passions. For me, I hit my "enough" and am now happily enjoying my "email job" as a minion at megacorp.
Well said, I know a couple of friends that are such minimalists that they could retire already… they just don’t because they like what they do.
Their enough is barely $1M? They need on average $40K a year, CAD funny money to boot. So with a good job the savings are so massive that it racks up in record time.
That needs foregoing most of the status games: no fancy cars, no fancy clothes, no fancy McMansions.
For most of my adult life I have been obsessed by status and I've only just recently realized maybe it's not entirely healthy. As a kid I wanted to make something of myself and then that drive went into hyperdrive when I went to West Point mainly because I surrounded by a truly impressive group of classmates that pushed me to achieve more. It became a competition to collect as many badges and tabs as possible and go to schools with the highest possible pedigree.
After b-school at Duke I wanted to do consulting, mainly due to the perceived status, but I ended up stumbling into sales. At the time I was a bit embarrassed; I even had a friend say that he was glad my ego could take that hit. My view on sales changed when I got my first 6 figure commission check. That's when the lightbulb turned on and I realized that my obsession with status should take a back seat if other needs are being met- those being (time with family, significant earnings, etc). If can continue to crush it I care a whole lot less if my friends think I'm a loser because I'm just an "Account Executive". Overall, I've realized that chasing status sometimes causes you to chase things other people want, and can cause you to forget that what you were chasing in the first place.
Here's a very niche example of this: For a while I was writing restaurant reviews for Lonely Planet, which was an objectively shitty job... but gave me a huge boost in status among my friends who were travel bloggers. That's the power of a top brand, I guess.
Sitting on the fence regarding pursuing an MBA and can't seem to pull the trigger. Have been going between it will help with a future career change and between should i really do it if I dont know where i want to be in 5 years. I like how you highlight the status game. In some respects it definitely will give you the external validation and probably self-confidence to go about making those moves and changes. Seems like a lot of work just to get some self-validation of status but maybe worth it. Still looking to be pushed off the fence, if anyone can shove?
tough decision I was on the fence for nearly two years. Sure it’ll move your career but it’s also a lot of fun being around people your age with less pressure from day to day life. Not saying I wasn’t caught by the status game, but also treated it as a bit of a pause in the hectic life we tend to live
Ultimately there’s mo right or wrong, think it through, speak to people you trust and I’m sure you’ll make the choice that’s right for you
Hi Jack, great article and astute observations. I suppose that the corollary of status is that it is only meaningful when outsiders can appreciate it. In other words, external validation. In my view, chasing status is a red herring or fool's errand. When we rely on external validation for our own happiness, it is fickle and transient. What we really want when we chase status is that we think that status will help us achieve those things that will make us happy! But we are misguided; happiness comes from inner peace and contentment, often these are the very things that we sacrifice to achieve that status.
Love thinking about this topic. Years ago, spouse was involved in a research project about younger generations being more motivated by their perception of the status associated with the title as opposed to raises. For the longest time, I thought, “how stupid. Call me the associate toilet scrubber if you give me a raise.” The more I thought about it, and some of the new patterns associating with careers (changing place of work more often, likelihood of receiving a larger pay bump when you move companies, etc etc) I wondered if the younger generations are actually playing the long game. Does forgoing the raise in lieu of a perceived high status title increase likelihood of higher pay when you make your next career jump? Anyways, I view this whole thing as a necessary evil to career progression and find myself judging the concept often. As I get older, I try to release the judgment associated with this part of “the game,” and made a decision that the only way to win the game is not to play. We’ll see if that is the right choice in the long term, but for now I am satisfied. Winning isn’t fun when it all feels fake and purposeless. Nothing new under the sun!
“the only way to win the game is not to play”. Bang on, truest words spoken.
I liked the article a lot but couldn’t help but feel disgusted by it, harsh reminder of how the world revolves out there.
Here’s an example I can think of how to win while not playing:
- Instead of chasing status enrolling on “a prestigious (but not so useful) college degree” because “I want to change the world” or “I deserve the college experience!” someone could save those hundreds thousand dollars and go into a trade, accounting, etc
- Instead of buying the McSUV parked on the driveway (instead of the garage) for all to see, buy a used well kept car at a fraction. No loans, cheap insurance.
- Same for McMansions and whatnot.
What I mean to say is that the status games is not only on job titles but basically on everything.
The college avoider example above basically can start working 5 years ahead his/her peers and save on tuition… if that person strikes a deal with their parents, that’s a massive head start chunk of change compared to the debt ridden 5 years late ones.
Since many decades now parents send their kids to daycares for strangers to raise.
Why? because mom and dad got to work. And they got to work? Because they got to pay for expensive things… and why do they love the expensive things more than their kids? Because the expensive things give them status.
I write all that in inflammatory tone, but it’s because it bothers me and helps me remember that if I fall on that path I would hate myself.
Hi Jack! Interesting take on how to navigate "status games" :) I found it refreshing given how often we talk about this as a dichotomy: either you're sucked into the status monster's game or you opt out entire and stop caring. I think there's a lot to the idea that the status game doesn't have to be draining if you seek status that aligns with your intrinsic interests and aptitudes, but I also wonder whether something being designated "high status" can reduce the satisfaction we get from it.
For example, if your writing generates more interest from strangers when it comes with associated status markers (i.e. a book deal), is it then harder to identify whether the quality of your writing is actually good, or just appears good because other people have said it is? Basically, is it more difficult to judge or enjoy something you create when you're factoring in other people's perceptions?
This is just a hypothetical, not a dig at your writing skills :)
Definitely the case, I think.
An example: someone with high status will say anything barely funny or downright cringe but the people around will still laugh, sometimes forcibly so maybe out of fear, and give it a pass.
There’s the case that it might be only temporarily until it gets in the nerves of people, but the standards were definitely lowered.
Writing to another commenter, realized that the status games is on everything… not just job titles.
Many will choose to drown in expensive car leases with the accompanying premium insurance, McMansions, expensive clothes and whatnot just to “look higher status”.
And it’s the exact same price to pay: “I will sacrifice my current financial situation and even forego any chance of reasonable retirement probability for the sake of having a seemingly looking better status today”
With both status and money, you need to know your "enough". There will always be someone with more money (unless you're Musk) or someone with more status in your domain (unless you're Lebron or MJ) so you need to determine for yourself when the extra effort isn't worth the sqeeze. For me, the effort for more status wasn't worth it after I hit "top MBA program graduate" and "Senior Associate at a major management consulting firm". For money, my target is $5M in investable assets plus a paid off house. Some crave more and some are a happy with less and would rather have more free time or pursue their passions. For me, I hit my "enough" and am now happily enjoying my "email job" as a minion at megacorp.
Well said, I know a couple of friends that are such minimalists that they could retire already… they just don’t because they like what they do.
Their enough is barely $1M? They need on average $40K a year, CAD funny money to boot. So with a good job the savings are so massive that it racks up in record time.
That needs foregoing most of the status games: no fancy cars, no fancy clothes, no fancy McMansions.
Solid article that every college student should read IMO. Saying that, s.r.e.a.m. just doesn't have the same ring as c.r.e.a.m.
For most of my adult life I have been obsessed by status and I've only just recently realized maybe it's not entirely healthy. As a kid I wanted to make something of myself and then that drive went into hyperdrive when I went to West Point mainly because I surrounded by a truly impressive group of classmates that pushed me to achieve more. It became a competition to collect as many badges and tabs as possible and go to schools with the highest possible pedigree.
After b-school at Duke I wanted to do consulting, mainly due to the perceived status, but I ended up stumbling into sales. At the time I was a bit embarrassed; I even had a friend say that he was glad my ego could take that hit. My view on sales changed when I got my first 6 figure commission check. That's when the lightbulb turned on and I realized that my obsession with status should take a back seat if other needs are being met- those being (time with family, significant earnings, etc). If can continue to crush it I care a whole lot less if my friends think I'm a loser because I'm just an "Account Executive". Overall, I've realized that chasing status sometimes causes you to chase things other people want, and can cause you to forget that what you were chasing in the first place.
Here's a very niche example of this: For a while I was writing restaurant reviews for Lonely Planet, which was an objectively shitty job... but gave me a huge boost in status among my friends who were travel bloggers. That's the power of a top brand, I guess.
Thanks Jack,
Sitting on the fence regarding pursuing an MBA and can't seem to pull the trigger. Have been going between it will help with a future career change and between should i really do it if I dont know where i want to be in 5 years. I like how you highlight the status game. In some respects it definitely will give you the external validation and probably self-confidence to go about making those moves and changes. Seems like a lot of work just to get some self-validation of status but maybe worth it. Still looking to be pushed off the fence, if anyone can shove?
tough decision I was on the fence for nearly two years. Sure it’ll move your career but it’s also a lot of fun being around people your age with less pressure from day to day life. Not saying I wasn’t caught by the status game, but also treated it as a bit of a pause in the hectic life we tend to live
Ultimately there’s mo right or wrong, think it through, speak to people you trust and I’m sure you’ll make the choice that’s right for you
"so the question you should be asking isn’t “How do I opt out?” It’s “Which status game should I be pursuing?”"
Love it, Jack! Also opting out is really just choosing the status game where you "pretend" not to care about status.
You're friends with Rob Henderson? I'd love it if you did an interview with him talking about status and luxury beliefs!
YIKES! How is it. We all do it. We don’t realize it! I don’t believe I’ve ever read a more insightful article. THANK YOU :)
Still wanna write for you man